What should I do in this situation? (Faith and Relationship question)

[Atheistvistor916]

There is a big question I want to ask the users on this forum. I'm in a relation with a Christian girl. She is very loving and faithful being Christian. I met her years ago at college after my time in the Marines. We had a chance meeting when she was preaching on the college campus. I met her parents (She is an only child) and everything has been going well. They know I'm an atheist who doesn't believe in a god or religion but we're still in a strong relationship. I already know she got me different gifts for Christmas and now I feel guilty of not being a good man for her. I have been there for her and I love her and I want to keep her happy and want to be with her forever. She told me she loves me but wants a husband who is Christian and will raise a Christian family. What should I do about this situation? I feel like I can never become a Christian because I do not have faith. It feels like even though I will be willing to live the life she wants to live I will be lying to her and her parents.

[mattfivefour]

If you truly love her and know in your heart you will never be the man she wants and would only be with her through the artifice of lies, then prove your love and break up with her. If you instead choose to marry her by lying and saying you will become a Christian when you know you will not, then how is that loving her? That is not love, that is selfishness. Further, your lie will not only eventually destroy her, but you as well. None of us can live a lie forever. It eats us up inside and destroys our character.

However, while you at this point in your life are convinced there is no God ... or, at least, no personal God as revealed in the Bible ... take it from an old man who once was young and as convinced as you are— what we think in our human pride we know is sometimes not much at all. We think we have the answers, but wiser men than us can clearly see we do not. I have a high IQ, but I know there are other men (and women) with higher ones. I am not arrogant enough to think that I am special or that my ideas are the final word on any subject. I just try to use what I have without any sense that I am unique or worth listening to. It took God (yes, I know you do not believe in Him) a long time to get my pride out of the way so I could finally learn to be wise, instead of just knowledgeable.

Let me challenge you, my friend. When you are alone and ready, tell this God you do not believe in that you do not believe in Him BUT if He is real, then would he please make himself known to you and you will follow him the rest of your life. Just that. Mean it ... then do nothing else. Whether you realize it or not, saying that is, in fact, a prayer. And I guarantee you God does hear and answer.

So I guess the question is right now, are you an intellectually honest man and thus willing to accept whatever truth is shown you? Or are you puffed up with your own ideas and would rather believe what you believe regardless of anything else? If you are the former, then you will accept my challenge. I hope you do.

[Meg]

Well said Matt. I was going to say that if Atheistvistor is sincere, he might want to simply ask Jesus Christ if He's real. But marrying a Christian when you are set on remaining an atheist is a recipe for disaster.

[readytogo]

If you truly love her and know in your heart you will never be the man she wants and would only be with her through the artifice of lies, then prove your love and break up with her. If you instead choose to marry her by lying and saying you will become a Christian when you know you will not, then how is that loving her? That is not love, that is selfishness. Further, your lie will not only eventually destroy her, but you as well. None of us can live a lie forever. It eats us up inside and destroys our character.

I agree strongly with this. A friend of mine (before I met her) married a man who professed to be a Christian. Although he wasn't atheist, but agnostic, this was still a lie. Long story short, when he came to the realization that he couldn't keep up the lie, he left her with 3 children in elementary school. How was this loving her?

[Atheistvistor916]

I would like to give a follow up on my relationship with my girlfriend and my life. Earlier today my girlfriend and her parents invited me to their churches Christmas eve event. Everyone enjoyed the event and received small gifts and sweets. They took me to visit their pastor and his family. We started talking and he mentioned you're Kristen's boyfriend. I replied yes. This was the first time I met the pastor and he asked about my life and my faith. We we're talking for awhile till I felt like I did before I became a Christian. I do not know how to explain it. I told the pastor in front my girlfriend and her family that I'm ready to receive Jesus back into my life. My girlfriend instantly hugged me and started crying. This is what I wanted to be happy and Christianity makes me happy. This isn't about being right or wrong. I'm just finally happy with my family and friends in my faith.

[Hannah]

From your two posts I am now confused.

I thought you were an Athiest but now you are saying you are a backslidden Christian?

So when did you first come to Christ and can you tell me why you came to Christ the first time.

I understand that you are saying at the moment you want to come to Christ for happiness and being part of this Christian family and of course specifically so you can marry your Christian girlfriend.

[Atheistvistor916]

Where should I start. Years ago I identified as a Christian. This is when I went to various churches for different things for my faith. I left my Christian faith after becoming more and more depressed. Years later I meet this wonderful Christian girl name Kristen. Her and her family have always been there for me. I have been very unhappy and always wanted to be happy in my life. I felt this was the right move to make tonight. What can hurt me from becoming a Christian again? It's a small group of Christians who in my view are Christians of compassion. I understand it sounds confusing. But I just changed and I'm happy. Where I feel I'm at now is where I want to be in my life. My family, friends, and faith. God works in mysterious ways.

[Hannah]

I'm not sure what you think a Christian is or how one becomes a Christian.

I noticed you said that you wanted to be a good man for your girlfriend.

So I am thinking you haven't really understood what it means to be a Christian?



From the Bible we learn mankind are Sinners. Sin is what came into the world through Adam & Eve and all mankind have been born with a Sin nature since they allowed Sin into the World. Long Story short Eve and then Adam both disobeyed God. So from then on the relationship between God and mankind was broken. The result was that we would face a physical death and then a spiritual separation from God for Eternity which is the Second Death (or you probably know it as going to Eternal Destruction or Punishement).

This Sin problem has to be resolved. So being Christmas we should know the story of Jesus being born. He was born of the Holy Spirit not of man and He was God incarnate. God come in flesh to live amongst us. As he was born of God he was born Sinless.

Fast forward to Easter and we see the Son of God crucified and resurrected. Jesus did not have to die for His own Sins. Jesus obeyed God unto death and died for the Sins of mankind. So basically His death is substituted for ours. Your Sins are paid for by the Blood of Christ.

How do you receive the forgiveness of Sins, this salvation? Through repentance and believing & receiving.

You must first recognise you are a Sinner and destined to go to Eternal Punishment. Along with Satan for whom the Eternal Lake of Fire was created and for the fallen Angels that followed him, mankind will also share this place of eternal separation from God through continuing in your Sin and rebellion against God.

However when you repent, which means to turn from your rebellion and rejection of God and your sinful life and wanting to be under the God's/Lord Jesus Christ's sovereignty. You are now wanting to be with God forever. This is where you believe and recieve what Jesus did for you on the Cross. You believe Jesus lived and died for mankind and you recieve his death, the sheding of his blood for the forgivness of your Sins.

So we become Christ followers or Christians. We become Saved Believers and we will recieve Eternal Life which means being with God forever.

You reason for becoming a Christian should be because you want to get right with God (become reconcilied with God).

I've unfortunately rushed this a bit and I haven't got time to review it, sorry for any grammatical mistakes or any sentences that just don't sound right or make sense.

I want to give you some scripture and again I haven't time to find the most comprehensive gospel verses but here are a couple.

JN 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."


EPH 2:1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.