
Originally Posted by
Meg
What do I think? I think Scripture is my refuge. I have suffered so deeply that I have twice asked the Lord to let me die. The first time, early in 2008, I begged Him to just let me die, told Him He didn't owe me and need not let me into His Heaven, because Hell couldn't be worse than what I was suffering. I was absolutely in the pits of self hatred at the time, and saw no benefit in my existence. Jesus Christ came back with Reuben Morgan's song Mighty To Save, that was His gentle "No", and His encouragement was the Reuben Morgan song Eagle's Wings. He placed this computer in my hands in August 2008, and at long last showed me what I could do to serve Him after years of Sanctification and study. I still dwell in a place of deep affliction, and early this year, again, I was utterly crushed. Just so wounded and broken down that i could stand it no longer... Again, He asked me to live and told me why. All I can say is that I get my renewal from the Holy Spirit which is utterly unprecedented in my entire life. Graybeard talked to me on the phone on the day I quit my job; his first question was "How are you doing", and I broke down and cried. He saw me with his own eyes a week later, and was amazed at the restoration that was quite evident. He has seen me pray as well, and can vouch for the genuineness of both my faith and my pain. What is hurting me? Dreams unwind (thx Stevie Nicks for those words...) I dreamed for 20 years of owning a house in the country; the home I found,, where I have lived for 10 years now, is more charming and more comfortable than I could have possibly hoped... The neighbor, however, is a screaming nightmare on steroids. Dreams unwind...
Satan makes devastating bets that if he tortures us enough that he can break our faith, that is the first lesson of Job. People doubt our integrity and blame us for our afflictions, that is the second lesson of Job. When your life falls apart, you will be blessed if even three friends come sit in the ashes with you, that is the third lesson of Job. God is faithful and true through it all. That is the fourth lesson of Job. There are many lessons in Job as there are in all Scripture. Not one Word in the Holy Bible is fodder for casual dismissal, of that I am absolutely certain. I have studied the Word Of God for over 6 1/2 years, and I am still discovering new depths of deeply resonant meaning in Its pages. From what I understand, no one has lived and served Jesus Christ so long that they never stop discovering new and resonant meanings in Scripture.
That is what I think.
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