I still cannot believe this......

[mikalikat]

This boggles my mind. A wedding professional in a city I shall not name contacted me a few weeks ago about a job. It was for an eco-friendly/green wedding and reception. The bride and groom wanted everyone to have something special to take home.

They wanted each guest to have as their placecard on the table, a ROCK at each place setting. Not just ordinary rocks, but PERSONALIZED rocks.

So, I bought the bags of river rocks, brought them home, had to sort through and find 164 acceptable ones, WASH THEM, and letter them.

Guess how much it cost to ship them back to the reception?

$251.

So much for conserving their "carbon footprint."

People, I am not kidding, I am so over working in this industry. If I'm now working on rocks, we have hit a new low. Sand dollars, I can see. Beautiful, elegant, delicate.

But ROCKS.

[LibertyBelle]

We eloped.

I highly recommend it.

:P

[mikalikat]

Judge did the honors here. Highly recommend that, too.

[toadblossom]

They make nice pets...

[BruceWL]

My wife and I eloped on Sept 29, 1967.

[WhisperWisdom]

While I find it amusing to watch Bridezillas on tv sometimes, I'm also horrified by how much money it costs to pay for everything too. In the end, do you think the bride and groom really cherished the moment? I kinda doubt it, with all that stress and worrying over the bills after the honeymoon. Eloping is definitely the option in my future.

As for rocks....it's not what I would've chosen. Besides, isn't that like, littering? :)

[LibertyBelle]

Is a justice of the peace a judge? I think that's who did our 'ceremony'. He actually mentioned Jesus, which surprised me, b/c I thought being a government thing he wouldn't be allowed to. Of course, that was ten years ago, and he'd probably be fired now for it.

I don't think I could ever do a 'wedding', unless it was just us & Jesus.

I think it's an enormous waste of money, and I'm too private to go gushing feelings in front of people.

Elope.

You probably won't regret it.

I actually do cherish the memory of getting married in jeans and fancy shoes in that office. It wasn't a planned thing, we just did it one afternoon. Girls are stupid. They waste too much money and time on a wedding when they (both the groom and the bride) need to be preparing for a marriage. That I wish we'd done...

[mikalikat]

I have come to the conclusion that weddings are nothing more than an expensive way to impress family and friends that you would not otherwise normally speak to.

[LibertyBelle]

I have come to the conclusion that weddings are nothing more than an expensive way to impress family and friends that you would not otherwise normally speak to.

You probably have enough experience in the field to substantiate that judgment.

[mattfivefour]

I have a question. Can someone show me in the Bible a marriage ceremony? Or some God ordained specific ritual associated with it?

[bride_of_christ]

I don't believe in big expensive weddings. They are such a waste of money, IMHO. Why go through all that trouble to get in so much debt?? Seriously!

I never wanted a big wedding. We had a small wedding. It wasn't formal and the reception was not after the ceremony. We also didn't have a flower girl, Bride's maids, ring bearer, and no best man. It was a nice little small church, a few friends, some family and it is still a day that I remember. We didn't have a fancy, schmancy wedding and we are totally happy with that. Our honeymoon wasn't some trip to Hawaii or a Cruise and I like it that way. I'm not big into traveling anyhow!

[sandy]

people are doing the weirdest stuff anymore.

nothing elegant about a rock.

[mattfivefour]

people are doing the weirdest stuff anymore.

nothing elegant about a rock.

Unless it's the Rock of Ages! :praise

[Musician in His house]

I had the honor of my grandfather performing my wedding ceremony. I am sure, though, that he had to mentally remind himself to not refer to my husband as "Carbureator" and me as "Tweety." He had a tendency to give people affectionate nicknames. 2:

[bghtnpd4]

I have come to the conclusion that weddings are nothing more than an expensive way to impress family and friends that you would not otherwise normally speak to.

:hyst Excellent point, sister. That's why Mark and I eloped at the courthouse. The only people we invited were our closest friends and we only called them the night before! And, here we are almost 17years later...:)

[mattfivefour]

Charlotte and I did the same thing ... not even inviting our families! Total cost was less than $75 bucks for some flowers for her and an honorarium to the preacher. We lasted 41 years and 2 months until she went home to glory just over a year and a half ago!

[Ort]

I have a question. Can someone show me in the Bible a marriage ceremony? Or some God ordained specific ritual associated with it?

Well, if we go back to how Christ is the Bridegroom, and the Church is the Bride, we go back to the Jewish marriage customs/ceremony.
The actual contract was sealed as much as 1 year before they spent any time together (you all know what I mean). The father of the bride accepted the dowry, the bride and groom shared a cup of wine, and the contract was sealed. The bride and groom were considered married from that point on, and no other man should look at her, nor her at another man. Nor should the groom look at another woman. The groom would wait until the house they would share was built and ready, and his father would tell him to go get his bride. This correlates exactly with Christ leaving to go and prepare a place for us, and having His Father tell Him to go get His Bride, the Church, as Jesus said He didn't know the day or hour but His Father alone. :) (That would be the Rapture).

So, it may not be there biblically in a way you were meaning, (except for the story of the 10 virgins---in a roundabout way), but in Jewish custom it is there. And Jesus was more than aware of how things were done in that day, as were all the Jews who lived during that time.

[mattfivefour]

Well, if we go back to how Christ is the Bridegroom, and the Church is the Bride, we go back to the Jewish marriage customs/ceremony.
The actual contract was sealed as much as 1 year before they spent any time together (you all know what I mean). The father of the bride accepted the dowry, the bride and groom shared a cup of wine, and the contract was sealed. The bride and groom were considered married from that point on, and no other man should look at her, nor her at another man. Nor should the groom look at another woman. The groom would wait until the house they would share was built and ready, and his father would tell him to go get his bride. This correlates exactly with Christ leaving to go and prepare a place for us, and having His Father tell Him to go get His Bride, the Church, as Jesus said He didn't know the day or hour but His Father alone. :) (That would be the Rapture).

So, it may not be there biblically in a way you were meaning, (except for the story of the 10 virgins---in a roundabout way), but in Jewish custom it is there. And Jesus was more than aware of how things were done in that day, as were all the Jews who lived during that time.

Hi Ort! That's what I mean. There is ample OT and NT evidence of Jewish custom. But we already know from scripture that a lot of Jewish custom was just man made (which God allowed when it did not negate His Word.) So I really would like to see anywhere in holy writ where God ordained a specific—or even a general—form of marriage.

All I can find is this:

"... a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." —Genesis 2:24

"Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?' And He answered and said, 'Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE and said FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.'" —Matthew 19:3-6

"... the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." —Malachi 2:14

I can find nothing else ... just references to people being married. But nothing as to the form of a marriage ceremony ... outside of Jewish custom which, as I have mentioned, is not necessarily God's way but man's.

What I get from both the Genesis and Malachi references above, plus the importance Jesus places upon the marriage bond itself in the Matthew reference, is that marriage is at heart nothing more—nor LESS—than a man and a woman vowing to be faithful to each other before God. As far as I can find in scripture that is all God requires.

Now, however, while this may satisfy our walk before God, we cannot forget our walk before man. We need to have "regard for what is honorable, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men." —2 Corinthians 8:21 So, given that man requires people to have a license from the state, have some person licensed by the state pronounce a couple married and sign a paper attesting to that, and then to have that paper registered with the state, then I suppose it is incumbent upon us to go through that much ritual.

But I do not see that as being necessary in God's eyes. In fact, from scripture, it seems to me that in God's eyes a God-fearing Christian man and a God-fearing Christian woman who pledge themselves IN TRUTH to each other for all time are married. But, if that is what they do, then they had better keep that vow that they have vowed.

However, as I said above, we also need to provide things honorable beffore God and man ... [Greek: προνοοῦμενοι καλὰ οὐ μόνον ἐνώπιον κυρίου ἀλλὰ καὶ ἐνώπιον ἀνθρώπων (Men) taking thought for (providing) honest, seemly, honorable things not just in the sight of the Lord but also in the sight of men.]

Anyway, I am throwing this out there because I would like to hear others' comments. Not based on personal opinion or the way you have been brought up, but based on scripture.

[Robert]

I wondered about that as well. I think simply, it's between the man and woman, and God.

[Ort]

I found a possible answer in Romans chapter 13. Here is verses 1 and 2. The rest you may read for yourself if you like:

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves."

So, it stands to reason that a valid marriage license is to be sought by any Godly couple who wish to marry. After all, even though this is a "man made" law, it is God who sets up authority. As long as the authority doesn't go against His Word morally, then it is my opinion based on Scripture that a marriage license should be had. After all, what kind of witness would any Godly couple be if they were living together without legal proof of marriage? Add kids to the mix and there goes your witness to a Christless world!

After all, Paul states in Ephesians 5, part of verse 3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality......."

Living with your spouse, with no marriage license in this day and age, while attempting to put forth a Christian witness simply will not fly. This is my opinion based on Scripture.